Artemis Fowl: The Ballad of Frond
by moxearlee
Summary: Root left more than memories when he died. An an up and coming lead singer has been kidnapped by a fairy zealot who claims that the Mud Girl is actually Root's bastard child. Now, Artemis must turn to an unlikely source to save the world: music.
1. Chapter 1

**Artemis Fowl and the Ballad of Frond**

**Chapter One: **Why Mother Always Said Never Get in Cars With a Stranger

Betony Yale Lambert stood impatiently outside of the airport, smoking.

It was an unusually hot day in Dublin. Spring weather was often temperamental in the city and today it had chosen to be angrily feverish. The unclouded sun relentlessly beat the pavement causing the temperature to rise a good ten degrees. Men in business suits sweat shamelessly while large pools formed under their pits. Betony had long since abandoned her comfortable flying clothes in exchange for a summer dress that left little to the imagination. The desk had informed her that the transit was going to be thirty minutes late. That had been an hour and a half ago. She threw her cigarette down and reached for another. Her fingers missed. She tried again. Nothing. Finally, her eyes drifted downwards—empty. Her Camels were empty.

It was unforgivably hot. The transit was late. Her legs ached, and the man next to her kept bumping her ankle as he eagerly droned on and on about his son's football league.

Now, her cigarettes were gone.

Betony was going to loose her cool. It was inevitable. Her temper could be hotter than the weather. It was a hard notion to conceive, but achievable under the circumstances. She abandoned the bus line and walked down the sidewalk to one of the many limos, sports cars, and luxury vehicles that patiently waited for their escorts. Surely, one of them would be willing to give her a lift. She had even bothered to shower although the unmistakable scent of tobacco clung to her dress. _Whatever, _she thought bitterly, _it's not like they don't smoke eight packs a day with their Vodka and antidepressants. _The young girl looked anxiously at the row of cars. To her great pleasure she saw a well dressed—well, a well dressed someone or other walking swiftly toward a Bentley. She hurried toward him.

"Wait! Wait, please," Betony said breathlessly. As the driver put the suitcases in the car the young man glanced up at her, expressionlessly. Betony found herself approaching him with caution. She had an unusual perceptive about people, especially the uncommon ones. He was definitely uncommon. And dangerous. Regardless, she was desperate.

"Look," she began as if not requesting a favor but issuing a command, "I know this is a bit unprecedented but the bus isn't going to be arriving for another—well, I don't think it'll be here in the next century and I'm in a bit of a hurry. Urgent business, really. So if you don't—"

"Get in," the stranger said mechanically. Betony was too flustered to say thank you. It was something out of a novel, as if he had known she would be coming. Then again, what else could she have been looking for, running up to him like that? The strange rich boy closed the door beside her and entered the luxury vehicle on the other side. The driver expertly navigated his way out of the bustling roads of the airport, to the interstate.

"Where are we going?" he asked.

"We?" Betony repeated raising an eyebrow.

"Yes. I will be dropping you off first. And since clearly more that one person is present in the car _we_ shall all be going there."

_Great, _Betony lamented silently. _I hitched a ride from the smart-ass Samaritan. _

Out loud she replied, "I need to get to the four seasons. Stat."

The boy looked at her. His eyes were calculating, in such a way that made Betony's stomach churn. She had no clue what this expensive guy was thinking. Nor did she care, but it was still unnerving. Finally, he motioned his neck so he was looking into the rearview mirror. "Butler, pull over the car. Please."

Betony thought he might be joking. Obediantly, the driver pulled over. _What the hell? _She panicked. _Is he going to rape me off the exit_? It was unthinkable. Broad daylight, on the side of the road? Then again, cars were whizzing by, the windows she now noticed were tinted, and she was obviously alone. Damn.

"I just want you to know I'm in a band. We've been places. Dirty, filthy places. You have no what idea I might carrying."

The boy leaned over. Betony's brain kicked into over drive. If he thought she was just going to stand by and let him violate her…but he didn't touch her. He opened her door.

"Get out." The words sounded as automatic as when he had told her to get in.

Betony stared at him. Long. She looked at the driver. He said nothing. She looked back at the boy. Nothing. She lost her cool. "Out? You want me to get out after offering me a ride? I don't have time for your bullshit! I need to get to that hotel, _now_."

The young rich boy did not change his expression. He spoke clinically, "You told me your business was urgent. Correct?"

"Yes," Betony replied.

"I don't see how making it to the hotel of yours on time to get your room before it's booked to someone else urgent business. You conned your way in here. Now get out."

_Bastard_! Betony wanted to yell, but refrained. Had it been any other circumstance she would have blown up at the juvenile punk. She thought of why she flew to Dublin. She drew back.

"I'm not trying to make a deadline," the hothead managed explained coolly. "My step sister is at that hotel. I haven't heard from her in…in over week." Her heart began beating wildly as a new wave of anxiety flooded inside. The boy was staring at her intently. For some reason, this encouraged Betony to continue. "I got a call from the hotel. They said she left one day and never checked out. All her stuff is there, still. They're keeping it as collateral until she pays for her room but… no one has been able to find her."

There was a lingering moment of tense silence. The stranger was still looking at her his eyes calculating, again. The driver remained eerily motionless.

"If you don't mind," Betony said, her anxious worry whipping back to a vitriolic anger, "I would like you to cease with this bullshit and please just take me to the hotel!" She grabbed the door and slammed it shut. "_Now_!" She hated getting angry. It made her face flush. And yet, it made people do what she wanted quickly, no matter what they called her behind her back.

The boy nodded, and the car drove back onto the interstate. Betony glared out the window. The situation was beyond her control. She was at the mercy of a rich, stuck up bastard and then when he dropped her off—what? File a missing person's report? Wait for months and months? Hopelessly? She took a deep breath. Always with the melodramatics. Everything was fine. Everything was—

"What did your step sister doing in Dublin?" The rich boy interrupted her mental therapy with a question. No sorry's. No formalities.

Dear God. Would it ever end?

Betony answered him with a sharp glare and then put her head back on the window. _You only ask because you feel bad about being an asshole. _

"Are you going to answer?" He asked.

_With my silence, yes. _

"Butler if you don't mind pulling over—"

"What?" Betony screamed, suddenly not so mute. "Butler, do _not _pull over!"

Butler pulled over. Again, they were on the side of the road.

Again, Betony found herself yelling at her Samaritan from hell. "What. Is. Wrong with you!"

"Do I need to repeat the question?"

"She was here to visit a hematologist!" Betony wasn't quite yelling but her voice was raised. _And he has not changed that damn expression since we got in the car_! "She had given blood a couple of weeks ago and they found some weird compound in it and she wanted to know what it was. And as it happened some famed hematologist who had made advances in AIDS treatment was at a summit here and she wanted to meet him. Are you satisfied? Is there anything else you'd like to know?"

The boy seemed to be thinking. "Must have been Dr. Myazawa… anything else?"

"No." Betony's answer was flat. "Are you done yet?"

"Good." The car went back into drive. "And uh…if you ever tell Butler not to do something I tell him to again you will most definitely find yourself walking. And this time the car won't be stopped."

"Who exactly are you?" Betony asked.

The rich young man curved his lips into a smarmy, devilish grin. "Artemis Fowl."

* * *

They arrived at the Four Seasons without further incident. Despite himself, the girl amused Artemis. She was easily disarmed and provoked, much like a child. However, when she spoke of her stepsister so humbly with concern he could tell that there was a matriarchal maturity about her. _She must have had to take care of her stepsister, _he analyzed. _They must be close. I can certainly empathize with her situation…losing someone, desperate to find them…_

When they pulled up to the front lobby he made his decision. "I'm coming with you."

The girl's eyes widened. She laughed, clearly holding off another outburst. "No. No you're not. You're going with _The Transporter _back to whatever ritzy world you came from. Maybe you can pick up some more hitch hikers and leave them stranded if their destination is not worthy enough."

She slammed the door. "Wait in the car," Artemis ordered Butler, before leaving and following the girl.

"Oh lovely," she huffed haughtily. "Now you're stalking me?"

"Stalking?" he rebutted. "I'm quite certain this is a public area. Perhaps I'm interested in booking a room. I didn't get your name by the way."

She deliberately ignored him. Artemis smiled. Unlike most girls, who did this teasingly, knowing full well they were going to give themselves away, he genuinely annoyed her. _A genuine chase, _Artemis thought as he walking through the swinging doors behind her.

He followed her up to the receptionist's desk. Both clerks working were free. Side by side, the girl and Artemis stood facing them.

"My name is…" she glanced at Artemis. _She knows she has to give the receptionist a full name. She won't cause a scene here. _"…Betony Yale Lambert. I'm here to pay off the room booked by Regina Lambert and collect her things."

"Room 746?" The receptionist asked.

"Yes," Artemis addressed his own clerk, "I would like to book room 746."

He could feel Ms. Lambert glaring at him. The clerks seemed a bit flustered—they glanced at each other. "Yes well… yes this room was a recently cleaned and is now opened…"

"When exactly was it cleaned?" Artemis asked. "I like to have things immaculate."

The clerk informed him it had just been cleared that morning. Artemis thanked her, paid, and took the key. As he walked across the lobby he could hear an angry march directly behind him.

"Who is the stalker now?" He called teasingly.

They stopped in front of the elevator not saying a word. He smirked. She grimaced. Together, they got on, standing on either side of an obese man.

"You're sick," Betony hissed.

"You're the one who got in the car with me," Artemis grinned.

Suddenly, Betony made a move that Artemis had not entirely calculated. She stopped the elevator, and then, before Artemis could react, had him pushed against the wall. The obese man coughed uncomfortably. He'd seen enough porn to know where this was going.

"I don't need you getting in my fucking way," Betony whispered into the genius's ear. "I'm a woman. Unfortunately, I have a certain power over you and if I cry wolf your ass is in the locker. Clear?"

Had Artemis been a common crook he would have felt intimidated. But he had spent a grand majority around one the toughest female figures he had witnessed, although this Betony gave her a run for her money. _Too much CSI, probably. _

Artemis cleared his throat. "My dear, where this may work in the hovels that your band plays in—yes, I remember you saying that—it does not account for much here. Especially," he gestured toward the fat man, now pressed in a corner, "around witnesses." She paused for a minute, thinking. "Don't forget my driver," Artemis reminded gently.

The fierce girl loosened her grip but still had Artemis pressed against the wall. "What do I have to do to make you go away?"

It was another opportunity for Artemis to be righteous bastard. He could easily suggest something sexual if he allowed his maturity to drop the far. He refused. Despite the young billionaire antics, he was still a gentleman. And he was well aware her limits were being pushed.

"Just let me see the room."

Betony released him, glaring. _Somehow she knows, _Artemis thought. _She knows I can help. She has a natural instinct. She would make a remarkable cop. Still… she is very childish. _

The doors chimed open. Much to the relief of the fat man the two very strange adolescents left together.


	2. We, The People

**Artemis Fowl: The Ballad of Frond**

**Chapter Two: **We, The People

**To all three of my adoring fans. **Usually, if I only get two or four reviews I axe the story and start over. But you guys gave me such encouragement I had to continue! I know that most people don't like reading a full part focused on an OC, but I had to introduce the character. Hope you like all of them so far. Please tell your friends about this story, as I've put in a lot of effort to make it better than your usual tripe. But even if you guys are the only two or three who review I'll keep it just keep letting me know you like it! Thank you, you're very kind!

And yes I try to be the goddess of not so horrible OC's.

* * *

"…The pornographic, vile music of Mud Men has tainted our generation and exposed them to an insatiable fascination with violence and sex. It is a pandemic that I am proud the Council has decided to defenestrate from the airwaves. They will ban not only music directly created by humans, but also confiscating, censoring, and disposing any music that remotely mimics at the style and content of those who live…above us. Let us not forget the virtues of our forefathers: peace and integrity. Without even contacting us, without awareness of our very existence, the poisoned mindset of the human race has found its way into the bloodstream of our youth. Let us cure this before it—"

_That's enough, _Holly sighed to herself and clicked off the news. For weeks now this Belenus Bile had been clogging Haven with his relentless crusade against all things Mud Music. He had become known as the People's most influential zealot, trying to bring back the spiritual fulfillment in place of scientific exploration. The ex LEP felt neither here nor there about the entire issue although she did listen to the ultimate Mud Lady herself Lady GaGa, a guilty pleasure she didn't have to admit or turn in. Luckily, Mulch was smart enough to smuggle the actual CD rather than pirate a digital download so she could listen to her 'pornographic, vile' music without the fear of being reported. Feeling an unusual strike of rebellion Holly grabbed the CD—archaic, yes—but luckily her car was able to register all forms of digital formations.

She was about to put on a pot of coffee when someone rapt vigorously on the door. _A visitor? At this hour in the morning? _She dragged her half woken feet to the foyer._ Someone has a death wish_.

Holly sauntered over to the door and opened it. It was Kelp.

Oh.

The young Commander looked worried and slightly out of breath. "You would think LEP's top man could easily overcome a few flight of stairs," his ex comrade gibed.

"I'm…I'm sorry Holly," Trouble said breathlessly. "But I didn't know else to turn to. It's… well, it's my niece. May I?"

Without a word Holly opened the door all the way for him and immediately turned for the kitchen. _Why not, _she thought tiredly. _After all what better way to end the awkward tension between two ex lovers than a crisis_?

Kelp followed behind tentatively. Sure, he and Holly hadn't spoke for weeks after the…incident. But he honestly could not think of a better person to help him out. Secretly, the newly instated Commander hoped it would give them a chance to patch things up. Start over. He had the promotion, after all. Wasn't that what mattered? With Holly it was difficult to tell. She casually poured two cups of coffee as if they had just rolled out of bed together. Kelp pushed out the memory and took a seat at the table.

"So what's happened now?" Holly asked, sitting beside him.

She had never formerly met the sister of Trouble. Actually, she was his niece, but the two uncles looked after her as if she was one of their own—a quality the young fairy seemed to resent.

Trouble sighed. "Well, I'm sure you've heard all you can handle over this new ban on Mud Music."

"Haven's new savior seems to have all the right strings pulled," Holly muttered bitterly. She was thinking of their wallets.

"Yes," Trouble agreed. "But there is something more. Something that isn't entirely advertised in all his speeches and posters." He leaned in a little closer to Holly as if anyone could be listening within the apartment walls. "The Council has issued a warrant of the immediate arrest of anyone distributing or participating in the distribution of Mud Music. No level of degrees—just a one way ticket to jail. Also, there has been a special recon group trained to track down and disband any underground clubs or radio stations airing the MM threat. They're not a typical police force, either. They were hand picked by Bile. They're dangerous, Holly. More so than necessary."

"And you're worried about Norah," Holly finished for him. "She's getting involved in something that could put her in harm's way."

The Commander nodded. "There's nothing I can do to protect her. It's above my chain of command. It's not even like she's quiet about it, either. I mean, Norah isn't standing outside of House of Council with a sign denouncing Belenus. Sure. But any authority that questions her view—well she is vocal about it. They have her eyes on her, Holly."

There was a concern in Kelp's eyes that Holly had not witnessed in a very long time. She did not know if it was because he was worried about his beloved niece's choices, or the dangers that the new Recon group imposed upon her. Whichever the case Holly was determined to help.

"What do you need me to do?"

"Follow her," Kelp said, his voice nearly a whisper. "She hasn't met you. See what she's doing. Where she is going and report back to me. I just need to know she is safe."

Holly nodded. She could do that.

The Commander sighed warily. A month on the job and the burden already filled his voice. "This…Bile is pushing us toward a Revolution. I don't like it. I don't think his motives are pure." Suddenly, on impulse, he reached for her hand.

"We'll be alright," Holly whispered, but she didn't think he heard her.

* * *

Norah was bored.

The pixie-fairy hybrid sat impatiently across from the counselor's office, waiting for him to speak. She already knew what all this was about. The intercom, the politely being asked to sit, all were theatrical formalities. It was no secret that certain students had been specifically selected for an inquiry, concerning a _banning. _

"Let's start, shall we?" the counselor began. "You come from a very academically and career achieving family, Norah. The Kelps have a wide range in politics and are the highest ranking the police force (_save for one,_ Norah thought). Yet you have chosen a different route for yourself. Not that I condoned this. We are privileged to have choice, after all. But your choices thus far have marred the established integrity of your family's name."

Norah shrugged. "Every family has a black sheep."

"And you're OK with this title?" He asked shuffling papers. "Because personally, I believe with the right application of motivation and incentive, you could be more than simply the black sheep. You could the first Kelp, for instance, to go to an art school. I'm sure that would send your father for a loop."

Norah eyed her counselor skeptically. This was not the conversation she thought it was going to be. As encouraging as it was for him to be interested in her future—the future she wanted—the young Kelp could not help but wonder about his ulterior motives. She studied his shelves carefully. There were a multitude of books, most of them for appearances. Finally, her eyes landed one particular: _The Youth written by Belenus Bile. _Clearly just bought. She kept her guard up.

"I would very much like to become a director," she answered civilly. "It's been a dream of mine. I want to film the human world."

The counselor cocked his eyebrow. "Human…world?"

Norah nodded. "I want to do a comparative film of Humans and Fairies."

"My child," the counselor chuckled, "we all know what humans are like. They drove us down here. Stole our land. Steal each other's land. The comparison is clear."

_He is definitely a worker B, _Norah confirmed. Disciples of Belenus were known as his Worker B's. She said, "But what about the ying-yang sign? Its origins stem from the oldest chapters in our Bible that every bad has a little good and every good has a little bad. Of course, I don't personally believe there are bad People. Just People who do bad things."

"I see…"

The counselor studied her. Norah shifted nervously in her chair as if she were a firefly caught helplessly in a jar.

"I just want you to live a comfortable life, Norah," he said at last. "I'll make a list of art schools for you to apply to. You may go now."

Norah could not leave fast enough. Although the tone of the meeting had been kept pleasant and focused, there was something out of tune with the entire thing. _It's like a scene in a movie, _she thought, _when someone walks into a room and there is childish or cheery music playing but something awful is happening. _Her cell buzzed releasing her from her dark thoughts. Norah checked the message.

**The burgers on 55****th**** street are the best, and half off to! Don't wait!**

_I know what that means, _the hybrid thought. She didn't have time to dwell on her counselor's weird audience. There was a revolution to organize.

* * *

"It's just as you had thought, sir. Several of the students are no longer concerned for the welfare of the People. They are more or less interested in the above world. Human life. There is one name particular I would like to mention if you don't mind. Norah Kelp. Yes. Oh really? How many songs…over ten thousand? Have you arrested her? Oh I see…yes, I do have her address. Let me give it to you."

* * *

As they combed through Regina's old hotel room Artemis studied the other stepsister carefully.

Despite her rough interior Betony was surprisingly short, and delicate. She wasn't particularly beautiful, somewhere in between, with intense eyes and a somewhat square jaw. At first sight one would wonder how a girl like this, impatient, childish, and so very small, could have a maternal bone in her body. But Artemis could tell by the way she frantically rummaged through the desk, bed, closet, and kitchen that Betony was determined to find her stepsister. For all the tough words in the world her body language left little to be said.

He asked, "What was your sister like?"

"Annoyingly charming," Betony replied flatly, opening the drawers that surrounded the TV. "Coy, and a serious tease. Regina also hated school with a passion. She didn't have any academic goals but she wasn't a bimbo by any means. She just…wanted to make up her own rules."

"Interesting," Artemis mused. "How did you get along?"

Betony slammed the wardrobe shut. "How about you stop playing twenty one questions and help me look for my sister's shit like you promised?"

"Twenty one questions is a game that requires strictly yes or no answers to the inquiries at hand. And I never promised I'd help find your sister. I merely said I'd see the room."

Betony glared at him. A scolding hot rage flowed dangerously beneath her skin. Artemis was Pompeii. And she?

The dangerously unstable volcano.

"This was a mistake!" The angered girl snapped wiping away a few rebellious tears. "I don't give a fuck about who you are. I don't need your help anyway!" She grabbed her purse, and then hesitated. " Wait. This room is yours, correct? And it's on your card?"

"Of course," Artemis said, "if anything I should be asking you—"

He did not finish his sentence before Betony grabbed a very expensive looking vase and threw it across the room. It shattered against the opposite wall, and the small marched out of the room giving the door a proper slam.

_Bastard deserved what he got! _She tried convincing herself. _Why am I acting so deranged? I need the help of the police not some dilatants rich snob trying to get a thrill out of searching for someone! _

Betony fumed all the way to the elevator door. Angrily, she hit the up button several times, knowing Artemis, or worse security, could be walking down the hall any minute. "Hurry up!" she shouted kicking the sliding doors.

To her utter surprised, they opened. Unfortunately someone was standing in it—a bombshell blonde dressed head to toe in tight leather. Before Betony could open her mouth a gun was in her face.

"Don't move," assassin Barbie warned. "We know who you are, Regina Lambert."


	3. Escape, Capture, and Standstill

**Artemis Fowl: The Ballad of Frond**

**Chapter Three: **Escape, Capture, and Standstill

**Hey there adoring people. ** Seven reviews total. That's four more than last chapter! (I did learn something in High School. Yay). Your mission, if you do choose to accept (and you do), is to tell one person about this story and force them to review. Unless you're in-closet fanfiction writers like myself, and then you're excused.

Anyway, I don't think this chapter lives up to my usual standards. But I'll let you good people be the judge of that. Thanks for all the praise! Oh, and Chapter Four will either come really soon or really late because the only "down" time I have this coming week is Wednesday. Just an FYI. But I love you all very much hopefully enough to be excused of my Dan Brown influences.

* * *

After three seconds of having a gun pointed at her noise Betony was certain of two things.

First, she knew she had never experienced genuine fear in her life. Not until now.  
Secondly, and most importantly, after this entire ordeal was over, she was going to kill Regina. _Even if she's already dead._

* * *

"That girl is either desperate to find her step sister or impossible to get along with," Artemis muttered irritably.

He was not the slightest bit worried about the shattered pottery. Luckily, most of the decorations in hotels were there for the appearance of expensive taste. In reality the vase would cost at most a few hundred dollars, if that. No. What bothered Artemis was Betony's unbridled anger. She needed to learn to control herself. He Irish Billionaire knew Betony would stay given that he was her only means of transportation.

He gave Ms. Lambert ten seconds to calm down, and then went out to the hall.

"I don't appreciate your crass atti—" Artemis stopped mid sentence, his sharp brain registering something inconceivably wrong.

Someone familiar was holding Betony at gunpoint. Someone he had not seen in a very, very long time…a beautiful, deadly blonde.

"You're coming with me."

A memory flashed. He was chasing a sweet girl through the grounds. She laughed angelically. Her hair glistened in the sun of a perfect day. _Arty!_

"I said _move_!" The butt of the gun hit Betony in the face. She fell down, clutching her cheek as she hit the carpet.

_It can't be, _Artemis reasoned. The Butlers were tough, but proud. They would not resort to crippling someone who was clearly inferior in strength for no reason. They were not so cruel. They only did what was necessary. Especially…

"Juliet."

The name slid out of his tongue almost without Artemis's knowing it. The leather-clad vixen faced him. If she recognized him she did not show it. She drew another gun from her holster and pointed it at his chest. "You. Get this girl off the floor and come with me."

Artemis moved. He had no choice. Whoever this was it was not Juliet. A monster had replaced her. The Irish prodigy knew she would kill him without hesitation. He knelt beside Betony.

"Betony," Artemis said soothingly. "You need to stand up."

She looked into his eyes. She did not trust him as he had once thought but they both knew the choice was long out of their hands. "I'm sorry," he whispered and helped her onto her feet.

"This way," the assassin demanded. Clearly, it was understood what would happen if either disobeyed. _Her words are so cold, _Artemis thought numbly. _What happened_? He was afraid of the answer. He was also afraid for Betony whose wild temperament had dissipated into an emotionless stupor. Shock.

Juliet led them down a long hallway to the service elevator. "My men are waiting inside," she explained, "if you try to escape…"

"We die." Betony finished clinically, as if explaining the side effects of a medicine. The assassin said nothing. She pressed the service elevator.

The door slid open. There were no 'men' waiting, only a behemoth that stood in the middle of the elevator with two seemingly unconscious bodies lying at his feet.

The giant charged out like a rhino freed from its cage.

"GO!" Artemis yelled pushing Betony forward. He wondered vaguely if Butler would even recognize Juliet underneath that black leather and sunglasses. There was no time to find out. Artemis slammed his palm on the two arrows facing each other and the elevator descended.

* * *

Thousands of feet below Regina's day was summing up to equally disastrous proportions.

Kidnapping aside, the whole ordeal had not been a terrible experience for her. In fact, her abductor had treated her like a goddess, feeding her the most delicious food she'd ever put in her mouth and keeping her in a room fit for the highest priestess. Had he not planned on de-flowering her and the sacrificing her body shortly thereafter, Regina would have been perfectly relaxed. But every evil villain's downfall is a monologue of his despicable plan. And although she had yet to see her abductor, he spoke regularly in the darkness.

"Soon, my beautiful Psyche, you shall be mine…we will engage on a physical and spiritual journey together…for the People…for Frond…please be mine…"

"There's such a thing as Chat Roulette," Regina replied the first time.

Regina had never had an appetite for education but her family had visited Rome once, and she had seen enough ruins to know she was trapped in a temple. Whenever the voice disappeared lights flooded the beautiful chamber. In its center was a slight concave, or pit. Every time Regina laid eyes on it her stomach churned.

It was a sacrificial altar.

But if the younger stepsister were remotely intimidated, her captor did not know it. Where Betony would have been screaming and possibly tearing down the entire infrastructure with her bare fists, Regina was a much cooler customer. _It's like being in detention, _she convinced herself. _I just had to buy some time. _

Until then Regina sat in her room waiting for the moment her captor decided to take her virtue, or Betony came to stab her for not paying for the hotel room and stealing her jeans.

* * *

Cigarettes had not done much for Betony's cardio. Her grandmother had always insisted she quit but the stubborn girl never gave a damn about the old misanthrope's ramblings. "One day you're going to lose that beautiful voice of yours and you'll be damned if you expect an ounce of pity from me!"

In response, Betony blew a cloud of smoke in the withering woman's face.

Now, she was wishing she listened. After only a few yards of running Artemis was half dragging her to the Bentley Coup, which was purring at the ready behind the hotel.

"In," her Samaritan ordered, practically tossing Betony in the back seat.

Betony had no time to process that she was being manhandled, or that they were being chased by an assassin, or that the driver seemed to double as a bodyguard mercenary, or that in all this mess she had not collected any of Regina's stuff. Two seconds later the driver/bodyguard was back behind the wheel. Despite there not being a mark on him he looked pained.

"Buckle up," he said, slamming the gas pedal.

Had there been any time to Betony would have gladly followed the driver's instructions. Alas. She was thrown against the seat and then forced into very uncomfortable contact with Artemis Fowl as the car made a hard right out of the parking lot.

Betony remembered thinking to herself at the airport if the day could get any worse.  
Naturally, it had.


	4. The Janisaries

**Artemis Fowl: The Ballad of Frond**

**Chapter Four: **Haven Girls Got it Unlocked

**Ok, so, something was brought to my attention. **The story as planned was going to drag on a bit. Like, Holly was going to fall for a DJ (which may or may not still happen, I'm not sure) and there was going to be a lot more "garnish" I suppose you would say, such as explaining the heritage of the Kelp's and other nonsense. However, I know to some degree what most readers are here for, so I trimmed it down quite a bit. This whole chapter was literally divided up into two or three longer ones, and I managed to condense into one more entertaining one. Maybe. Anyway, I'm gonna post another story on the more "lighter" side. Artemis will probably be a little more OOC in that one but hey check it out. Anyway, to get this story rolling more, I chopped out some of the fluff, but it's good just as well.

Kitsune, I'm pumped for your story contest.

Oh, and if Kelp's niece seems Mary Suish I did it like that intentionally. Enjoy!

* * *

One day, The Kelps woke up and decided they were only going to have beautiful children.

And beautiful children they had.

"Holy Frond," Mulch swore as he and Holly watched Norah walk toward 55th street. "You never told me Kelp's sister looked like that!"

"Watch it Mulch," warned Holly. "She's only just become of age."

The dwarf ignored her. "Of age or not I can see why Kelp would want her kept inside. Legs like that are just asking for trouble."

Holly rolled her eyes although let's face it—there was no denying Norah's beauty.

Her mother was a pixie giving the young fairy naturally slender, petite waistline and soft bone structure. Yet she had inherited the elfin height and the long, black, shimmering tresses that were trademark of the Kelp line. The hybrid could win a man's heart with the slightest purse of her full, heart shaped lips. Her eyes sparkled with mischief. Norah's undeniable looks had not gone unnoticed by Haven's press. She was often the featured headline of the local tabloids, and had reached number two as the city's 'Hottest Available Fairies'. There was also the rumored calendar of which Norah had posed half naked in—but thanks to many political connections and LEP work, those never surfaced.

Norah's father, along with her two uncles, longed for the day his daughter would stop gallivanting around Haven and seriously think about her future. But the only thing Norah was interested was the here and now.

She walked down 55th, unknowingly being watched by her uncle's former flame and her henchmen, and entered an empty warehouse. Holly already knew where she was going. Kelp had enlisted Foaly to put in a chip diverging all text messages from Norah's phone to his own.

"Isn't that part of the whole problem?" Foaly asked, as he programmed the chip. "A slight privacy issue of sorts?"

Kelp scowled. "You don't know what have a teenage elf is like. Especially one who causes fender benders just by crossing the street. What does your kid do, Foaly? Design video games all day?"

"No. He's also working on hacking into the Moonlit Design's team network. Don't they make calendars?"

The two hadn't spoken since.

"Let's go," the ex Captain ordered. Stalking the socialite was a far cry from Recon work but it would have to do.

Naturally, Mulch could not be quieted. Since Holly demanded the radio silence despite the simplicity of their mission, he decided to interrogate her with some uncomfortable questions. "You know Holly you never told me why you were doing this for Kelp. Are you two possibly getting back together?"

"No," Holly replied a little too quickly.

The kleptomaniac cocked an eyebrow. "No?"

The fairy sighed. "It's not that simple."

Did she love Kelp still? Yes. But the council had made it clear they wanted a thick, concrete between Holly and any LEP affairs. Suddenly, it mattered a great deal that he was sharing the same bed with a certain Ms. Short. His career deadlock was slanting ever so steadily toward the opposite direction of promising, and more toward tunnel and garbage duty. Kelp insisted they could no demote him because he was dating her.

"So what if they do?" He shouted defiantly. "I can start from scratch."

It was the only time he had ever said it to her. After that, she demanded that he leave. He came home to find all his belongings neatly stored in boxes on the front step. Holly was not going to have the blood of his career on her hands. She would not let him throw away the best of his future for her. Since they had split Kelp was suddenly climbing the ranks again. Holly's heart ached for him but what could she do?

She wasn't prepared to make the most promising ranking officer on the LEP make that choice. So she made it for him.

"We need to focus on the task at hand," Holly replied coldly. Mulch clamped his mouth shut. Even he knew when to quit.

* * *

It was exactly as Holly expected. There, in broad daylight, was an illegal dance club. Choice of playlist? Mud Music.

"We have to get Norah out of here!" Holly shouted over the music. "Mulch? _Mulch_!"

The dwarf was dancing between to scantily dressed sprites. "Yeah girls. I could tell you a _lot _about L.A., if you know what I mean." They giggled flirtatiously. Holly did a mental head smack. _Looks like I'm on my own for this one. _

She squeezed through the sea of dancers ignoring the catcalls, butt grabbing, and most annoyingly the occasional: "Hey grandma! The senior citizens home is on the next street!" Holly did not appreciate the comments. She wasn't _that _old, or old at all. Maybe Bile was right. Maybe the future generation was becoming more ignorant like the Mud Men. _Listen to yourself, _she berated silently. _I sound like a five hundred year old gnome croon_! _Where is that stupid girl. D'Arvit_!

"Alright folks we got a special treat for you!" The DJ announced. "Tonight, our favorite topic of choice, the eye candy of Haven City, the rebellious and undeniably hot item…"

"Oh gods no…" whispered Holly. Even Mulch was a dumbstruck.

"…will be putting on a special performance for you in honor of the newly enstated ban on 'Mud Music'! So Bile thinks we're vile? We're gonna destroy our own race? Know what? He might just be right! We're releasing the music on the airwaves tonight so if you're out there listening tune into 91.3! HIT IT MS. KELP!"

The spotlight went on to the front of the stage. Holly blanched. The infamous niece was wearing nothing but glitter and an almost see through metallic leotard. She turned around and began singing.

_I'm feeling sexy,  
I wanna hear you say my name…_

"D'ARVIT!" Holly yelled, now running. Groups of male fairies were videoing the performance. They shouted crude obscenities at the shameless hybrid, their lustful eyes never leaving her revealing dress. Even if she was stopped, which was a stretch at this point; Holly knew the performance would go viral. There would be no mistaking Norah as the culprit and she would face persecution.

_Make sure she is safe. _

Norah wasn't safe. Not at all. Holly shoved her way through the crowd desperate to reach her, to fulfill a promise. _How can I do that when the girl is deliberately putting herself in harm's way_?

The next seven seconds were a blur.

First, the lights went on. There were screams, bodies running, glasses broke. Chaos. Holly glimpsed a team of fairies running in from the main entrance. Armed with buzzing batons, they wore all white with the emblem of their religion on the chest. However, this particular kind of weaponry did more than give a little shock. Those who were hit fell to the floor, screaming in agony. _More so than necessary. _Holly's eyes focused back on the stage.

Norah stood staring wildly at the madness. She did not notice the fairy in white creeping behind her.

When her brain synapses finally began connecting, Holly was hit in the spine by one of the lethal batons. She fell to the floor, withering. _Get up_! The LEP in her ordered For a moment, the LEPrecon officer managed to lift her head. She was hit again.

Nothing.

* * *

Mulch was too late.

He saw Holly and his attention was distracted long enough to be hit in the neck by a dart. Instantly, he was paralyzed. The fairy behind Norah shoved a bag over her head, and dragged her off the stage. Mulch tried to do something—release gas, move—but couldn't.

"No grand escapes for you tonight, little dwarf."

It was Ark Sool.

* * *

Earlier that day Ark Sool had been in an unusually good mood. In fact, he had been so all week. Whispers followed him wherever he went. Was that a smile on his face? Whatever for?

No one could guess the reason. And even if they could, they would find the source of his newfound gaiety too abhorrent for words.

The Ruins of Frond had been closed to the public for centuries. It was sacred ground. Only those who were Chosen could enter without being cursed with bad luck. Sool knew he was one of the Chosen. He knew because he was keeping something holy within the walls, something that would bring him to the ultimate Enlightenment. Or so he had been told.

Sool was willing to believe anything for power.

He strolled into the ruins, as he would go into his office. He clicked on one of the monitors and stared at his prize. The girl. The virgin half-breed. He felt himself rise at the sight of her milky skin, full lips and mysterious eyes. He would have liked her hair to be longer perhaps, or maybe a fuller chest. This human was impossibly thin and taller than he expected. But it would have to do. It had been so long since he had a human.

His cell phone buzzed. "Sir. We have a confirmation on the location of Kelp. Proceed as discussed?"

"Yes," he ordered.

_Soon, you will be mine._


End file.
